Episode 43: Power of Words Part 2 - Trust

Explore trust in crisis situations in Episode 43 of the Creative Workout Podcast. Learn grounding techniques, boundary-setting, and self-care strategies to navigate uncertainty with confidence.

Greg
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Creative Workout Podcast. Today is March the 1st, 2025. It's the first day of spring and it's 34 degrees here, so not very spring-like. We're in a mini-series right now called The Power of Words and today is the second episode. We don't plan these podcasts. It's very much alive, living, breathing in the moment. Today we're going to call it the power of trust. In the room today we have myself, Greg, we have Alessandra, Dr. Tamika, Devon, Andy, Jennifer and Shadows Pub. So Alessandra, we were talking before the show when we decided that we would go with trust and crisis situations, right?

Alessandra
Yeah, so at Creative Work Hour, our little group, it comes together daily. Not that each person that's here commits to coming daily. No, that's not how it works at all. It's Creative Work Hour is here every day so that when you need us, we are here. The values on which we're built is belonging, it's mutual support, It's creative trust. Like, for instance, if someone is doing a demonstration of something that they've been working on creatively, and that may be called a tiny desk concert. Well, it takes a lot of trust to put your brain baby in front of other people, but there's such a deep amount of trust in this room that we know When we're the person who's going to stand on that hash mark of tape before the figurative microphone, we know that the people that are sitting in the seats listening to us care for us, want what's best for us, and they truly believe that we're doing good work, and it deserves to be heard, and it deserves to be seen.

Alessandra
Now, do you apply to get into Creative Work Hour? No. You're kind of self-selected. And you'll know really quickly if you belong here or if it's, I don't know who those people are and what they want. And that's okay. Because you know what? Each and every one of us, we're not for everybody. I'm not for everybody. And creative work hours are not for everybody. But if you need a safe place to do the creative work, because it is a vulnerable enterprise, then this could be a place for you to do some of that work. So yesterday, we had a situation where there was an invitation that was issued to someone that I knew in another community.

Alessandra
We were doing beta testing on a tool for those of us that have a love-hate relationship with information management, knowledge management, and productivity. So two and a half years later, this person comes to the group. And it's A-OK. The first time that somebody comes in, you're just trying to figure out who they are and how you can help them. And we run, on Thursdays, five events a day. Over the course of a year, that's 260 events on Thursdays alone. So here's a person we hadn't seen in the group before, and they come to all five events in the day.

Alessandra
I'm like, that's kind of a bit much. Hmm. Wonder what's going on there. Not that there's a problem with that, but usually somebody just dips a toe, right? That's what we're used to. If they like that, they come back for a little bit more. But it was day one, all five things. Within 24 hours, the same person shows up. And it sounds like, because the person is not on camera, which is fine, because it's camera optional, it's mic optional, we have ways to keep you comfortable so that you can do the creative work. But, It sounds like a real crisis is taking place with this person.

Alessandra
Part of the DNA of Creative Work Hour is that we are trauma-informed, which means that we have training that goes back to working in suicide hotlines, a psych degree, having plenty of time on the couch myself, and everybody in the room has their own version of, here's how I showed up in the world, here's what happened to me, here's how I did my work. to recover. So it looked like what we were dealing with was some kind of a crisis. So we went into gear and the whole group did what they intended to do. They went on with their flow hour doing what they said that they would be working on.

Alessandra
Meanwhile, I take this person offline and just to figure out how they really are? Are they okay? What is the level of concern here? Another one of us, Greg, the producer of the podcast, is also quite skilled and well-researched in what are those crisis hotlines that when things get real and hit the fan, what do you need to know? Who do you need to call if there is an issue? So I'm working on the front end and Greg is working on the back end. And what ends up happening outside the awareness of the group but during the creative work hour is what turned out not to be a meltdown as much as a manipulation.

Alessandra
And it got toxic really, really quickly. And so what we're bringing to you today in real time is Stuff like this happens. It happens at work. It happens at a family reunion. You can be in a coffee shop and it can happen and all of a sudden you find yourself in a crisis situation. So there's the topic for today. And Greg, if you will give the question so that people can be thinking about the question that we have crafted to go with this topic.

Greg
Absolutely. In a crisis situation, how do you take care of yourself and stay grounded? In a crisis situation, how do you take care of yourself and stay grounded?

Alessandra
So last night, after dealing with this throughout the day, I was able to get it put to bed. I reached out to another of our crew, Shadows Pub, and I said, this happened. One, two, three, four, five. What do you advise?" And she gave me her advice and I'm like, yes, that is what that's called. That's what I will put in place. That's what I will invoke. Okay, good. Got the whole thing put to bed. Now there was the residual emotional fallout. How do I take care of myself in the midst of all of this?

Alessandra
And I'll go back to what happened as it was all unfolding. I did this thing where I realized I am in over my head and what I thought was happening is not what's happening. I'm feeling a little unhinged. I need to get myself grounded. So what I did in the moment is I just dropped my hands in my lap and I did a breathing exercise, which I would like to demonstrate with you all right here. And as we record Creative Work Hour Podcast, we are also on screen with each other, and the non-verbal communication is just really, really helpful.

Alessandra
It helps the show stay more alive, if you will. So if you are listening to the recording right now, what we're going to do is just 40 seconds of the exercise that I did that was grounding when it seemed like things were hitting the fan, I thought that I might be in trouble because of the situation I was trying to manage. So here's what I did. Are you ready? All right. So take your hands, put them together, and give them a nice good rub. Now let them fall to your lap like dripping chocolate, like warm chocolate, drip, drip, drip, and let those hands fall to your lap with the palms facing up.

Alessandra
Do you feel the warmth? Do you feel the vibration in your hands? With that, take a nice deep breath in through the nose. Breathe it in. And just hold it for a moment. Feel your hands. Feel your feet on the floor. and let that breath go out through the mouth. Just one more time, in through the nose, and hold that breathe gently, knowing that it is sustaining you, it is holding you. Now wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes, and let your feet at the floor feel yourself becoming grounded. And blow out through the mouth very steadily, And now you can feel.

Alessandra
I know you can. You can feel the warmth in your hands. You can feel that you're more grounded. Your heart rate. has decreased, your respiration rate has decreased because now it's more efficient. Now you're thinking more clearly. Now you're back in flow. So, oh, what's going on? Oh, that's right. I'm managing a crisis. What should I do? Well, I come into my body. I trust myself. What is my gut telling me? At that moment, my gut told me not to go back to the crisis directly, but to get myself further grounded by contacting people in the room that I know, love, and trust.

Alessandra
And I let them know what was going on so that I could keep myself safe. then I could go back and deal with what went sideways in real time. So Greg, I think that's what we were looking for. Here's a description of a crisis. Here's realizing, oh, this isn't what I thought. What do I do with myself and for myself so I can be of good use to those who depend on me, like my family, like my friends, and then we'll see what we can do about the crisis situation. So what do you have for our co-hosts that are here today?

Alessandra
Because there's something that they have to offer that adds to this bit of training that we're doing here together.

Greg
But you know, the crisis situation, it might be your own crisis situation, or it might be one that you find yourself in the middle of, where someone else is having a crisis. And the old adage is, you know, if you're in an airplane and it's going to crash and the oxygen masks drop down, they tell you to place your own mask securely on your face before you place the mask on the child.

Greg
And the reason they do that is if you survive, you're able to get your child off that plane safely. You'd be able to put the child's oxygen mask on. If you get the mask on the child and then pass out yourself, who's going to see that child off the plane? And what I mean by that is we have to take care of ourselves in order for our own health, but also we can't fall from an empty glass. We can't help someone if we don't help ourselves. So the question I have today, and it can be your own crisis or you find yourself in the middle of one, but In a crisis situation, how do you take care of yourself and stay grounded?

Greg
I'll go to Devin. How about yourself?

Devin
Shai, I feel like the correct answer to this is that, oh, Greg, well, I try to practice some meditation, do some breathing exercises, and then some gentle yoga. In reality, I eat and drink my feelings is my typical response to that situation. From a practical standpoint, I really try to get as much perspective as I can. I really try and see what is going on for what it is. Why is this crisis happening? What was the true cause of it? Because oftentimes crises seem to be about one thing, but in reality, they're about something else.

Devin
So I try to get the perspective and the objectivity on it so that I can address what's really going on, hopefully for both myself and to help, if there's another person involved, to help the other person.

Greg
Thank you, Devin. Jennifer, when you find yourself in a crisis situation, what do you do to take care of yourself and stay grounded?

Jennifer N
I think one of the wonderful things about being someone who's seasoned in life is that we've had a lot of these experiences and the healthy thing as we continue to grow is to be able to spot it and recognize it quicker than I did in my youth and to be less emotional about it and less condemnation on myself. in relation to these situations which arise. So for me, it's being able to identify what's really going on quicker now that I have a lot more experience in these types of things. Not that they occur frequently, but they will occur here and there.

Jennifer N
And also giving myself distance, recognizing for what it is more quickly, and then knowing that it is about so much more than just what's being maybe forced upon me without me wanting to have that and giving myself permission to distance myself from it, to extricate myself and not continue to be there, to be in that person or that situation's toxicity. And that distance and knowing that and giving myself time to kind of breathe or walk or know it for what it is, that it is not anything about me and it's about whatever that person or that situation is.

Jennifer N
It's about them, really, it's a selfish encounter. And they're trying to draw me into that selfish encounter to elevate themselves, to make themselves feel better. Whatever their reasoning is has actually nothing to do with me. I'm just the unwilling victim, except that I don't look at myself as an unwilling victim any longer. I look at myself as someone who can be victorious by protecting myself to recognize it and to walk away, and then work through that quickly. But I think it's personal. Everyone has to come up with what that is for themselves, but being able to recognize it quickly and know what you need to do for you.

Jennifer N
Because each of us is going to react differently to how we want to best make this something that doesn't have a negative impact on us in the way that that person wanted to. Because they're trying to do no good. And so we can distance ourselves and put a force field or a shield or distance from that. And then know that it isn't anything that we did. Because sometimes we can overthink these types of situations to go, why did we invite this? And what did we do? What is it about me that attracts those kinds of situations?

Jennifer N
those kinds of people and it isn't any of that at all and standing in our own power is so very very important and sometimes we don't have a supportive group around us and so we begin to doubt ourselves but each of us is put on here to do good and we all have our natural giftings and we have people that we can turn to in the way that Alessandra knew she needed to turn to trusted people in her life to work through this. And the fact that she recognized what was happening and could go there, I think is so important.

Jennifer N
And I have to say, listening to the story, I feel so proud of everybody and really love this topic because it's a hard one to do, a hard one to bring up, but yet it is so very important as We are human beings on planet Earth encountering all kinds of situations and all kinds of people, and we should take care of ourselves. And it's okay to take care of yourself, by the way, in case anyone's wondering. It's totally okay, and you absolutely should own it, live it, breathe it, and love yourself.

Greg
Thank you, Jennifer. Shadows in a crisis situation. How do you take care of yourself and stay grounded?

Shadows
I usually just deal with the situation and worry about it later.

Greg
Sometimes saying fact-based is the best way, right? Not trying not to deal with emotion, but just the actual facts of the situation. Andy, how about yourself?

Andy
I have learned that breathing is a really wonderful thing to focus on in a crisis situation. I have experienced a lot of those in life. As Jennifer said, the more seasoned you get, the easier it is to take care of yourself and stay grounded. Although some situations can be really emotional, you know, and I'm an emotional person. And I have to watch out for that, because if I let my emotions take over, I get over-emotional, and I'm no help to anybody, not even to myself. So I always have to take care of myself first, breathe, and focus, and I always clench my hands really hard, like in a prayer, and then I deal with the situation.

Greg
Thank you, Andy. That sure is a good way of staying grounded. I like the clutching of the hand, the way to actually force feedback. Dr. Tamika, find yourself in a crisis situation. I'll just stay grounded and take care of yourself.

Dr. Timeka
Thanks, Greg. So firstly, I would like to say just to start, I usually keep my circle pretty small. There are some things you need to do to not allow everybody to cut your throat or to be close enough to do that. So that's one place that I've always started. Dr. Melanie, Alexandra, and Devin are opening me up a little more just to broaden that horizon. But rule of thumb, my circle is very small. Meditation, as it's been stated, water. You know, a lot of times we're so dehydrated and that water element is just a key piece in keeping us grounded.

Dr. Timeka
You know, the percentage of our body is, the highest percentage is water. So to stabilize that is another key element for me. Greg, I think you said it and I wrote it down before this even started, but I listened to the fact, not the emotion. And I think shadows dabbles in that a lot. I leverage my resources. One is definitely having a planned group. I spoke about this last week, you know, just having planned events that can break up the noise and the chaos. And also, lastly, something that I've stated a couple of times in other settings, just the nature walk.

Dr. Timeka
I am earth. And I love earth and I accompany that with fire. I don't know what about the two, but they keep me grounded and I'm so grateful for those tools. But that's how I keep myself grounded after a crisis.

Greg
Thank you, Dr. Jamaica. You know, I think for me, I can very easily overextend myself trying to help somebody. And there's a danger in that. If you're a giving person, you can give of yourself too much to the point where you're not as effective even for your own self. And you can make yourself ill. So I think that it's important to recognize when you're out of your depth and you need some help. and being able to have a friend, a trusted person that you can call or lean on, we can't solve every situation for everybody. Alessandra, I'll pass it back to you.

Alessandra
And what we worked on before, the hour before the podcast, when we're doing, when we're putting this, the shape of the show together, and then through the active listening of our being in the show and creating this thing together, I wanted to just give some trust-building takeaways to help you manage staying grounded so you can manage crisis situations with a clear head. So here we go. The first one. The trust takeaway is to buy yourself some time and space. When something seems off, how can you put a pin in what you're doing and then kind of pull yourself aside or maybe pull that person aside and just say, hmm, let's go over here and take a closer look.

Alessandra
Now, you're not stopping the traffic on the road. You're just making a little pull over. You're creating time and space. That helps to build trust in yourself that you know what to do, first thing, when something starts to feel off. Number two, that you reach out for trusted support. It could be that you feel like I don't know what I'm dealing with, or it could feel like you're starting to go into a free fall. Either situation is fine. Just reach out for trusted support. Number three, to build trust in yourself, and getting through the process, lean on your own intuition and training.

Alessandra
The intuition is about trusting yourself in the now. And the leaning on your training is the trusting yourself in what you've been through, what you've learned, what you have integrated, and what is right there to hand to help you manage the situation. Number four, and these can go in any order, but number four, I'm bringing you trust in yourself. Remember what Dr. T said. She said, I am earth. She said, I am earth, and sometimes I am fire. And it's those two things that helped me yesterday manage a really volatile, what could have been a dangerous situation, was I got myself grounded.

Alessandra
I am Earth. And then, let's go to the fifth one in our takeaway, is do what your intuition tells you to do. whatever that thing that's rising up, you feel like you need to, here it comes, here it comes, set a boundary in this case. Set a boundary in language, set a boundary in technology, and trust yourself that that was the right choice. So there we go. Buy yourself some time and space, reach out for trusted support, lean on your intuition and your training, Ground yourself, I am earth and I'm also fire. And do that thing that presents that needs to be done.

Alessandra
And there you go. There are your takeaways for using trust of yourself, for yourself, and from the friends and the people in the family that love you. Greg.

Greg
This is normally where I would close us with, it's happened again. But if you find yourself in a crisis situation, it could be you're in crisis yourself or you encounter someone in crisis, please reach out. If someone comes to you in crisis, it means they're trying to trust you.

Greg
But we have to safeguard ourselves and know what to do in an emergency. If you're in a crisis in the United States, you can call 988. That number again is 988. It's manned 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year by trained specialists who just handle this kind of situation. If you're outside of the United States, there'll be a link in the show notes. to a resource that you can reach out for but please if you're in crisis get help you matter and the world needs you in it so always safeguard yourself but i will say that it's happened again you've wasted some perfectly good time listening to the creative workout podcast when you could have been doing something else come back again next week but let us know what do you do to take care of yourself we would love to hear thank you